Home. Again.

Together this time. Laying in bed pigging out on things we shouldn’t be pigging out on and watching old episodes on Criminal Minds [the Gideon days, the best days] and commiserating about how great the Gideon seasons were. Neither of us feel like dealing with the rest of the world today. Outside, I’m acting like everything is okay. Like we didn’t receive some brow-raising news this past week. Like we’re not really pissed and untrusting of people we thought we could trust. Inside, I am livid. And worried. And hurting and frustrated and uncertain for him. This past year has been exercise in counting blessings and considering ourselves lucky. Right now I feel as though we’re down on our luck more than anything else. When one thing goes right, five things go wrong. One wonderful week is followed by three ugly ones. When does it all just end?

For now, I’m content with staying in. Going back to work. Seeking out the best treatment for him and giving him all the time he needs. Looking for a puppy [admittedly, we’ve sort of “found” one but need to meet him first]. Living life. Hoping for the best.

Impulse.

I’m getting on a plane to the west coast tomorrow morning [with a very short stop in Dallas].

Of course S insisted I fly first class.
Just a one-way ticket.
Return date unknown.

Why?

Because life is short, and we are oh-so-fucking-lucky to have the one we have right now. So really, why not?

"One makes mistakes, gets led astray, digresses. If one could see one’s crooked progress as a kind of experiment, without wishing for an impossible security – nothing interesting happens without daring – some kind of stillness might be attained. You can, of course, experiment with your own life. Maybe you shouldn’t do it with other people’s."

Home. Alone.

He’s made it out west on his own. It’s fine because he’ll be home in a couple of days, before I even know it. Thankfully, the distance is not the hardest part. In the meantime, I’m enjoying a weekend at home, alone. Well, enjoying is an overstatement; I’m indifferent. But there’s a lot to keep me busy.

Catching up on work: clearing out all of my unread messages, reviewing meeting minutes/memos, triple and quadruple-checking hard copies of drafts, scheduling appts for the next 2 1/2 weeks.

Catching up at home: grocery shopping, laundry, looking into adopting a puppy [!!!!], drinking tons of tea, catching up on my favorite chick shows.

Marathon training. I got my runs in as planned during the past week, but missed today’s…which needs to be made up tomorrow’s and the schedule for next week re-arranged to compensate for the change.

Yoga. Working out.

Catching up with mom via Skype.

Yep, plenty busy.