There’s a lot going on right now. It’s exciting and great, but so stressful. It’s like all of a sudden I’m a grown up and everything is just happening all at once. There’s also the matter of me balancing my existence as a half of a pair and my solitary, single existence. Solitary single me has pretty much ceased to exist, which for the most part is okay…but then it isn’t.
I love my man. I moved to a whole other city/country just to be with him. I work around his schedule because it’s concrete and it’s happening and there’s nothing either of us can do about it. All because I love him and he is the one. It’s not like he doesn’t know it or appreciate it, he does and he shows it everyday, in all the little things- the words, the gestures, the hugs, the kisses, the whispers, the pulling me in when there’s a crows around him keeping me out. He does it all and I love him for it.
I just…I sometimes feel at in all of the living for him, I lose a lot of myself. Moving to a whole new place was tough, and I spent a good amount of time dealing with this inward unhappiness that I couldn’t understand. It was like, I’m here…living a good life…surrounded by good people…so why am I unhappy? Why am I randomly bursting into tears at the oddest times? Thankfully, I figured it out and there is honestly nowhere I’d rather be than here. But I still need to work on that balance. I have my job, friends that I’ve become so close to, that it feels as though we’ve been friends for ages…I really do have it all. I just need to work on balancing out my life. I’ve been home two days and I’m just stressed out with all the things that need to be done not only after coming back from a long trip, but I’m training for a marathon, still working on moving things to the new house, catching up on work and on top of that, needing to pack for a short trip this upcoming weekend. It’s a lot, but I can’t complain. I’ve got it so good.